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2018-11-09 mall dream
###########################

There were a few live bands playing throughout the mall, they had a small gather of people (5-15)
watching. Some had a small group of people (groupies?) dancing.

Most of the stores in the mall were vacant and empty.

The lighting, was overly bright in some areas and very dimm in others.

During this dream scape I remembered I used to dream about this particular mall.
I didn't revisit any of the odd wings it had.

During this dream scape I remember going down an escalator to the arcade.

The lights in the arcade were dim, there were many games that were not in operation.

There were not a lot of people in the arcade but a few teenie bopper "mall rats" who appeared
generally happy but more like "extras".

One of the people in the arade that I approached was an older (30 year old) sitting on the motercycle
game but he wasn't playing. He was trying to convience me to play, I'm not sure if he ran out of
quarters or if he had a ride waiting for him.

The game was a one person motercycle game with old school, 3d graphics like cruising usa.

After explaining the game and why it was so great he looked at his watch and said abruptly that
he needed to leave. For a moment, I looked at the game and how poorly it aged, and decided not to play.


Analysis
==========

buildings
-------------

In this dream I:

* Observed an empty or deteriorated mall building, with mostly vacant stores.
* Walked around various rooms inside the mall building.
* Come across a areas undergoing permenent construction.
* Wandered up and down hallways, staircases, and escalators in the mall building.
* The mall felt empty, there was little or no people or advertisement,
  and the energy although trying to emit positivity was bleak.

The building was not dirty, it was well kept even though it was had obvious signs of distress.

A dream that includes passages or tunnels (in my case I traversed a good portion of the mall)
means you are passing from one stage of your life to another.

If you dream of endlessly climbing or descending staircases, you may feel like you are getting nowhere,
because you are procrastinating or sabotaging yourself.


This dream (buildings) is in association with the following scenarios in your life...

    * Problems you need to solve. (likely)
    * Changes in your life that you need to make or are currently making. (yes)
    * Personal growth or moving from one life stage to another. (yes)
    * Relationships and the way you feel about them. (yes)

Feelings that you may have encountered during a dream of a building…

    * Spiritual enlightenment and hope. (hopefully, if it helps)
    * A desire to change or improve. (yes)

Arcade
------------

This is because we usually have dreams about things that we have strong associations with.

It would be hard to have a strong association with an arcade since they can hardly be found anywhere anymore. And since the brain deals with familiar things and people don’t often go to arcades, you would be hard pressed to find out that the arcade is a common dream, since it isn’t really.

Because the arcade is seen as a place of joy and amusement, when you have a dream about an arcade this is usually the feeling that your mind is trying to convey. Your mind is dealing with a lot of stress right now and the best way to get out of it is for a moment of escapism. Since most of your conscious life is spent dealing with the stress, it is time for your subconscious and unconscious to deal with the aftereffects. This is done by supplementing the unpleasant experiences with happy memories that help you cope with the hard times you are dealing with right now.

Perhaps your mind is trying to remind you of an even more specific time that you cannot recall currently. What you are trying to do is to recall a happy image so that you can go back to another happy image that you are desperately trying to recall. This might be a message to your inner child to wake up and take over a bit more. You need to feel some more positive memories so that you can begin to cope with all of the negative situations that you must deal with as an adult.

An arcade is also a place of manipulation if you want to get philosophical about it. The arcade is a place in which, for the price of a quarter per play, you can control the life and experiences of a virtual character, explore a virtual world, and manipulate your surroundings in order to reach a goal. Because of this, when you are at an arcade relishing the gameplay, this could be you trying to act manipulative and controlling. You are letting out the fact that you are a control freak and need to be the decider of the destiny of others.

This same definition can be turned completely on its head to mean that you are the one being manipulated. Do you feel like you have been taken advantage of recently in your life or that you need to fight back in order to achieve a certain goal? If this is the case, then you might be feeling manipulated which would explain perfectly why you are in the arcade setting in your dreams. This could also be a sign that you need to have more control.



Possible meanings
----------------------

To see an empty house (mall?) in your dream indicates that you feel uncomfortable in every aspect of your own waking life.

I think maybe I choose not to play because I knew the simulation, inside the simulation, is the wrong direction.
I don't need to go down to the arcade, deeper into the simulation, I need to ascend higher into the current simulation.

Also this could be me flirting with nostalgia of a time and place that was fading fast from reality. 

Also thinking back to abuse in my past. when I was age 11-13 my family would sneak away on the weekends to vacation
at a timeshare in New Port Rhode Island.

I was fat (over weight) at this point of my life and embarrased to take off my shirt so I avoided swimming in the indoor/outdoor
pool and hot tube. This resulted in me hanging out in the hotel room or in the arcade where I would play the handfull of coin operated
games obviously imported from the 80's. Nobody else really played in the arcade except me and my little brother.

On one occasion I remember my father entered the arcade and he appeared to be drunk. He said something along the lines of

"Oh there you are, of course you are in here."

He was tailed by my Uncle Rory who I always adored.

He then went on to beraid me with insults:

"Are you just going to play games all day or what you faggot?", and
"You lazy, little faggot."

Mind you this was like 3pm in the afternoon on a Saturday.

I felt so bad. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy and I honestly tried and now I was getting his true,
but extremely negative and unsensored stream of thought sprayed at me.

This is a true trama that I still carry with me today, the day I learned that how my father really felt about me.

This was the man who taught me to ride a bike, and swim, and I was his pal most of the time, and this is how he randomly out of 
no where decided to treat me? The dissonance of my father's charecter on that day still rings true for me even today.

It's very hard to reconcile why he felt the need to say those things to me.

In retrospect I'm sure he was simply echoing the negative self talk he had playing in his own psyche
- and the alchohol lead to a brief moment where he lacked the self control to keep it to himself.